Connecticut Centauro

The group...with Fanny and Buddy

Neko Case's new album plays on my computer and I keep jumping back and forth between it and some of my favorite tunes from Middle Cyclone. 

If I don't update this blog a few of you are going to come out here and write it for me. I need to sleep so I want to hurry, but I know that makes for a less than interesting blog entry.

I force myself to write a word. I keep thinking about what my new Brazilian friend called me last week.

Centauro.

It was on the evening of my birthday.

"Virgo, you mean?" I tried to correct her.

"Virgo, yes. But Centauro." She said as she described her perception of my assessment ride, interlinking her index finger and thumb from each hand, she spoke of a connection she observed that I had with Bella. It's been a dream of mine that my riding would generate inspiration without provocation. I don't feel like I am there yet — maybe I've experienced little pieces for myself — but she caught me off guard with her comments and I felt humbled, regardless.

Last night a few of us went out to the Rustic Cafe to regroup. It was good conversation and a good way to unwind. Quizzes and tests are due just about every week. With fall in the air, those of us closest to the fire-breathing dragon stayed the warmest.

The more I get to know the other instructors-in-training, I get a better idea of why they are are here with me. Each of them are inspiring and have their own struggles. These girls are all striving to make a difference. I am not alone.

Our first week has been chock full of various subjects: volunteer management, anatomy of horses and humans, lesson plan creation. I've had good and bad days. Yesterday and today were relatively good days for me. Tuesday was downright frustrating. I was reminded of the struggles I had in school with losing focus, my wandering mind leaving the present to explore a future that is possibly years away. Reining it back in was a constant battle.

Tonight, my head aches and slight nausea tickles my throat. I worry. A lot. But worry gets shoved away in a hoard under the bed. Monsters can't hide under there. There's no room; they can't fit.

Today and yesterday, hours of lecture was broken up by heading out to the barn to ride. Yesterday, I had the pleasure of riding both Taylor and Buddy.

A much bigger Buddy than one I've ever known...
with as gentle of a heart as the one I used to own

Today, we all got to ride seven different horses in the herd to feel their gaits and experience different types of tack. Geri was by far my favorite. She was sensitive to rein and leg cues and had a lovely gaits that rolled my hips in therapeutic figure-8s. Plus she was wearing a sheepskin fleece with an anticast surcingle. I could ride her all day on that. Some of the horses were difficult to handle, some had jarring gaits. They each have a story. But there is a purpose for each of them and getting to know them will help me when I start teaching here. Of course I want to flock to the sensitive ones, but we've been taught how to match horses to the riders...not only for the riders well-being, but also for the horses.

I still don't know what the outcome is going to be, but at this point I hope to find a way to help people of all abilities to find their inner Centauro.

If you can't be a unicorn, I guess this might be a close second...